Ask and Ye Shall Receive

Remember how I said I couldn't wait 3 more weeks? Well neither could 5 lb 13 oz Logan Charley. Born Sunday at 1:45 pm. Updates to follow...

Waddling Along

My first son came 2 weeks early.  All during this pregnancy, I have assumed that this son will come early too.  I have even kind of planned on it.  If he's 2 weeks early, my delivery is only a week and a half away. 

Recently, it occurred to me that I have no control over that, and I could possibly go until my due date or even later.  Previous births are not a reliable indicator as far as I have heard.  So that means, it could be as many as 3 and a half weeks away. 

Um.

I don't see how that can be humanly possible.  I can't breathe or sleep or eat or even lie down without wanting to vomit the acid creeping into my esophagus.  And I have started getting stretch marks on my belly.  Stretch marks.  I know that's normal and all but I didn't get ANY the first time and now, at 36 weeks, I already have them.  What is my belly going to look like if this baby stays in there another 4 weeks???

And my ass has cellulite.  Cellulite.  I've never had cellulite before.  I'm lucky, I know.  But now it's there and will it ever go away again? 

Next week, Dr. Awesome is out of town so obviously I can't have my baby while she's not here.  So I'm holding out until 38 weeks and then I'm going to walk like a thousand miles a day and eat hot sauce from packets and bone my husband every day. 

In other news, I have had a lovely little cough that makes me piss myself every time.  It's pretty.  Also, today is an especially springy day and I am loving it, even though it's supposed to snow again tomorrow.  The baby's room is almost complete, I just need a dresser and to find this kid a name so I can buy those cliche letters to hang on his wall.  Bugs starts soccer again this week and we already missed the first practice... I think that might just be how this season goes.

Why Yes, I Did Wear Slippers to Work Today

Because my feet are giant marshmallows.  Also my wedding ring doesn't fit anymore.  I went to the doctor yesterday and have gained 5 pounds in the last 2 weeks.

I blame the Girl Scouts of America.

In other news, I decided a month was long enough without shaving my legs or my vag (plus I had the group b strep swab thing yesterday) so I actually had to sit my ass down in the shower (teeny tiny shower) and shave some things.  When I stood up, my legs were purple and tingly because apparently I can't sit down without cutting the circulation off to my lower extremities. 

Speaking of the group b strep swab thing....  holy fuck did I feel violated.  They stick it in places where stuff shouldn't be stuck.  Plus then she checked my cervix.  So all sorts of orifices were enraged.  I am slightly dilated, but not much, which is good because my doctor decided to go out of town in 2 weeks. 

I. can't. have. this. baby. if. my. doctor. isn't. here. 

I love her.  I worship her.  And she is on board with the most important, key parts of my birth plan.  Mainly, that my husband is going to deliver the baby.  If some other doctor is there and says no, I will literally get up and go give birth in my car in the parking lot.  It's that important to us.

I'm sick.

And tired.

And grumpy.

But you can't tell right? 

Hopefully people won't notice when I switch to crocs full time either.

L & D (or How I Spent Last Friday)

Friday at work I noticed that I was having quite frequent contractions.  I've been down this road before with the old Braxton Hicks so at first I wasn't too concerned.  But then, they changed.  They were not painful at all, but they were different and uncomfortable.   (I wonder if the way I think of italicized words in my head translates to you dudes when you read my blog.  Or if you're all like, WTF, why does she always uses italics?)  So I started timing them.  My doctors office has told me to head to labor and delivery if I have more than 4 contractions in an hour (or is it 6?)  Can't remember, but I had 10 in an hour.  Which seemed like a lot.  So I decided to go get checked out.

I was totally fine and not really worried but when I told my boss I had to go to the hospital, he got all concerned and asked if I was ok and gave me a hug.  So then I started crying.  I don't even know why.  I wasn't really upset.  I guess I'm just a cryer.  Then he was convinced that I couldn't drive myself to the hospital, so a team was recruited to get me and my car there.  2 of my work pals took me and on the way, I couldn't get in touch with Hubs because he was in a meeting.  The girls didn't want to leave me at the hospital alone, so they stayed with me for a bit and got to hear my entire medical history, including the last time I had intercourse.  (P.S.  I love the word "intercourse.")

As it turns out, my cervix wasn't dilating, so they weren't overly concerned.  They did give me some meds to slow the contractions and I was there for a few hours to be monitored then sent home with no restrictions. 

Look baby, I don't even have any diapers for you yet, your bedroom has no curtains, it's snowing today, I need to work for a few more weeks, and you are just not old enough to come out yet.  So calm down and hang in there a few more weeks until everyone is ready for you to come out.  And by everyone, I mean me.  K thanks.

Fiddlesticks

Have you ever had one of those periods of time where stuff keeps going wrong?  When at some point, you just have to start laughing about it or you might cry or possibly slit your wrists.  (That's a joke.  I'm not suicidal.  Swear.)  Well I had one of those weekends with the Hubs.  One where all of our issues came out repeatedly.  It's defeating and overwhelming and just really fucking annoying, to be honest. 

The fight lingered over to this morning when we were trying to get our little guy ready for school.  Bugs has a tendency to not hurry in the slightest and couldn't find his back pack or his shoes or even seem to get out of the tub at any point.  I was still sad from the endless arguing, oh yeah, and I'm eight months pregnant so finally I just sat down on Bugs's bed and started crying.  Because I couldn't find his back pack or shoes either.  So then he was a half hour late for school.

And then I got fried chicken for breakfast.  And talked to one of my bff's so she could tell me I was right.  I might get a five dollar coffee too.  And then, I'm going to work a little on forgiveness.  Forgiving myself for not handling things the way I always want to, and forgiveness for him because he has fucked up a lot and I need to let it go.  Then I'm going to focus more attention on getting to be the person I want to be and mostly, I'm going to not let anything ruin the last 6 weeks of this miracle I am experiencing.

So sugar coat now... figure out a more long-term plan later.  That always works right?

8 Month Belly

My sister came over and snapped some artsy photographs of me, scantily clad, with a big belly.  I love them.  I want to make out with them.  Hubby says I can't put them on the FB because they are too sexy.  I don't think that but respect his wishes to not have my nearly nudes on the Internet.  Well, all except for my blog, obviously.
So here is the most anonymous photo of them all, and coincidentally, one of my faves.

Hypno Conclusions

I finished my Hypno Birthing class last night.  After a lot of study and soul searching, here is the conclusion I've come to:  Hypno Birhting might not be for me after all. 

I have enjoyed it immensely, and learned so, so much.  I believe the relaxation aspects will really help me in my daily life, not just when I'm pregnant.  But when coming up with my birthing preferences, I made a list of all the things that were THE MOST important to me, and do you want to know what was NOT on that list?  Come on, you know you do.  NOT on the list was actually having a birth free of medication.

I want to have a quiet, calm room.  I want my husband to receive the baby.  I want immediate skin-to-skin contact and breast feeding.  I want to wait until the cord stops pulsating before we cut it, and I want them to allow my placenta to deliver naturally.  I want the baby to stay with us at all times, and for him to only be breastfed. 

But the pain management part?  Not quite as important to me.  And everything I actually DO want can still take place if I were to decide to get an epidural. 

Of course, I am going to continue to practice my Hypno techniques for the remainder of my pregnancy, and I am going to use them for an all natural child birth.  But if plans should change, I will not be disappointed.  In my opinion, the teacher and the book make it sound like if you have any meds that your baby will not be able to bond with you.  I disagree.  I had an epidural with my son and the bond was instant and magnificent.  I am still totally opposed to inducing labor, however, as I do believe that messes with your body's natural hormone flow.  I know from experience that even with the epidural, my uterus kept working it's ass off to get my baby out.

So there it is.  Yes, I am going to use Hypno Birthing to deliver my baby.  Yes, I have 8-10 bullet points of what I request from my doctor and the nurses on staff.  And yes, I will change my mind if I feel like I want to.