Besides my insane anxiety and borderline OCD, I'm a pretty laid back chick. I know that seems opposite or something, but it's fucking not. I am chill. Most things roll off my back pretty easily (unless there are dishes in the sink) and it takes awhile for me to actually get worked up. I can't even really remember the last time I got crazy pissed off. Except at my husband, but that doesn't
actually count. But as laid back as I am, some of the weirdest shit annoys me. Like, is it really
your pleasure Chick-Fil-A guy to hand me my fucking chicken nuggets and waffle fries. (Excuse me while I drool for a moment.) If you haven't been to Chick-Fil-A, then I will fill you in. Whenever you say thank you, they are required to say, "My pleasure." (Also, their chicken nuggets are the SHIT. So f-ing good.) For some reason I find
"my pleasure" so over the top annoying that I have to use actual restraint and not say thank you. Yes, I purposely do not say thank you at that restaurant because their answer is "My pleasure." GAG!!!
Or when people say "it is what it is." Oh really? IS IT? Or literally, when they don't literally mean literally.
(Cartoon from
theoatmeal.com)
Anyway, the ironic part about the whole thing is that I also find
myself annoying when I get annoyed at these things. I'm a work in progress.
Speaking of work in progress, guess what I broke out today that I haven't seen in several months? Tweezers. Apparently even when you have a baby, you still have to tweeze things in order to be sexy. Otherwise you get hairy in places where one doesn't want to be hairy. My hairy parts were all,
"Well, hello old friend! Please pluck us so we can seem attractive again!" I did my best, but it is what it is. Literally.
You literally crack me up. And that is the truth. And I will go ahead and admit that there are times where I peed a little laughing at you. So....that could be me up there with the pee stain. Whatever. Weak bladder and all that. I am never ever ever going to a Chick-Fil-A. and here's why: Our office manager bought me a bagel breakfast sandwich with a giant fried piece of chicken and cheese. I figuratively loved the shit out of it. Then I proceeded to tell myself that it came from some magical unknown location that I would never be able to find without a de-coder ring and pirate map. If I go there....let's just say it won't be good.
ReplyDelete"Literally" annoys the shit out of me too.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby gets a unibrow if I don't get my "20 plucks" in every week or two. He hates it, but I insist. :)
I'm concerned about where you're plucking...fill me in more please. Example I only pluck facial hair and it sounds like you have a lot of it. ;)
ReplyDelete