I am an explosive, crazy laughing/crying HOT MESS right now. Let me break it down for you:
- I have some sort of pelvic slash adductor pain situation going on right now. If I am sitting or lying down for a long period of time it takes me approximately two and a half minutes to stand up fully erect and then when I put weight on my right leg the pain begins. Then I laugh, cry and hobble to my destination (usually the bathroom.) I cry because it hurts like a mother fucker and laugh because I walk like a 95 year old hunchback.
- I am an emotional roller coaster. Most recently I sobbed until 3 in the morning because my husband went out drinking with his friends until 1 am. To be fair, he was originally supposed to be home around 9 then we fought and he stayed out because he was mad at me. But realistically him drinking beers with buddies was not that big of a deal. Although you wouldn't know it from the sobbing and carrying on. The next morning brought with it swollen eyes and a huge apology on my part for being one crazy bitch. (For the record he did not apologize for being a meany pie head.)
- After the crazy cry night I had a talk with Natalie about how I can NOT be crazy when things don't go my way. She says I have to relinquish some control which is really not that easy if you think about it. But her words are ringing in my ears and I'm trying to breathe through the situations that I would tend to blow up at.
- Yesterday I didn't do too well when I went to start my car and it didn't turn on because my husband had used up all the gas. I promptly freaked the fuck out while he got the lawnmower gas and put it in my tank.
- Speaking of blowing up... I had to have some dental work done today (2 hours worth) and when I mentioned that my jaw hurt to Oak and Natalie, this obviously lead to a discussion about blow jobs. Apparently all the great wives just love giving their man head. Either I've been married too long or I'm a horrible wife because ladies, it just ain't my thang. After this discussion however, I am convinced that frequent bj's prevent infidelity so I guess I have to buck up and suck some D.
Hey now, we're not saying you need to become a blowing machine but a well timed blow job can go a long way to helping cultivate a happy marriage. :) Or it has NOTHING to do with a happy marriage and I'm just being led to believe that. Who know but yeah, on your knees bitch!
ReplyDeleteUgh, i have issues not flipping my top at Charlie as well. I think that will always be something I have to work on. The gas tank issue would have definitely triggered yelling and/or tears. Oops.
ReplyDeleteAnd dude, I do NOOOT do the BJ more than a couple times a year. Just NOT into it. LOL
I like doing the BJ because it gets me out of sex. Pretty sure that doesn't make me a good wife. Ha!!!
ReplyDeleteI think that I would react the same exact way as you through all of those situations, and I don't have crazy emotional hormones going on right now either. I would have freaked the fuck out at the gas sitch.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the BJ thang? Who are all these married women going on and on about their mouths being full of penis so much? I'm still technically a newly wed and I can count on my right hand how often it is done in this house. But, I like sex better so hopefully that keeps him roped in.