I'm not sure why I do stupid things. Sometimes it's for motivation, sometimes I'm just dumb, sometimes I'm bored. This latest scheme might top the list of stupid things I've done:
I ordered a swimsuit.
Online.
3 weeks after I gave birth.
Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.
Who does that? Obviously it looks horrid. My belly has never (EVER) been totally flat, and post-baby, it looks like rising pizza dough. And I thought this would be a great time to order a swimsuit online and try it on when it was delivered. Oh and by the way, I have developed a new obsession with chocolate covered marshmallow eggs and catered an ongoing obsession with pepperoni pizza, so the belly sitch isn't really getting any better.
Speaking of post-baby bod... I haven't quite gotten back in the habit of shaving things. I mean my armpits are super close and easy so they get a good daily shave. But my legs and lady parts are still lacking in some much needed grooming. When I was pregnant, I had an excuse that I couldn't, you know, reach those areas. But now I'm just fucking lazy and not doing it anyway, so what's the GD point?
My hair looks thick and magnificent, however, so that is genius. It also grew about 6 inches while I was pregnant, so bonus! Hopefully, it will keep up the good work.
In other news, it is snowing outside right now and that is not doing much for my pasty white skin. Come on summer!
Friday, April 29, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Zombie Land
Logan has decided that 11 pm until 2 am is play time.
I've been trying to talk him out of it. Trying to let him know that this is the time when mommy needs sleep. Like really, really needs sleep. He doesn't give a shit. And no matter how many times I shove the pacifier in his mouth, he spits it back out and yells at me to burp him or feed him or just hang out with him. The first few weeks of his life, I was waking up happily and looking at him adoringly for the few wee hours in the night that we got to bond a little extra.
That was before I turned into a zombie. And before I started calling my husband an asshole in the middle of the night and flipping him off because he is snoring dreamily next to us. And before I started yelling at Bugs because he takes too long to eat cereal.
This is the hard part. Before sleeping through the night but way far past being okay with being up all night. When spouses are too tired to try to bond with each other and still can't quite have sex again.
I've tried to think of more to say for this post but it just isn't coming. I'm tired. But for your viewing pleasure...
I've been trying to talk him out of it. Trying to let him know that this is the time when mommy needs sleep. Like really, really needs sleep. He doesn't give a shit. And no matter how many times I shove the pacifier in his mouth, he spits it back out and yells at me to burp him or feed him or just hang out with him. The first few weeks of his life, I was waking up happily and looking at him adoringly for the few wee hours in the night that we got to bond a little extra.
That was before I turned into a zombie. And before I started calling my husband an asshole in the middle of the night and flipping him off because he is snoring dreamily next to us. And before I started yelling at Bugs because he takes too long to eat cereal.
This is the hard part. Before sleeping through the night but way far past being okay with being up all night. When spouses are too tired to try to bond with each other and still can't quite have sex again.
I've tried to think of more to say for this post but it just isn't coming. I'm tired. But for your viewing pleasure...
Friday, April 22, 2011
Short Perspective
A girl on tv (read skinny bitch) just said, "If you have 10 minutes to get a cup of coffee, then you have 10 minutes to work out." And I thought to myself, "Mmm, a cup of coffee sounds good."
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Why Being Old Rocks
First, guess who gained a pound. Yep Logan. My gargantuan fun bags are doing their job nicely. Solid work mammary glands.
Next, having a baby in your 30's kicks so much ass! I had Bugs when I was 25 and newly married and poor and forced to work full time. This time I feel so much more calm and prepared. All of my friends have babies now too so it is a way more relatable experience. With Bugs, I would talk about his stuff and my friends were like "oh yeah that's super cute and all... Gotta go now. Hot date/party/hang out at the bar/Vegas/club." Now I call my friends and we talk about boobs/poop/sleeping/nipple cream. It's fantastic.
And even though I'm excited to get back in shape, fitting into a bikini this summer is not even on my list of priorities. I plan on breast feeding for a year and making sure I'm eating healthy and providing for my son is number one. The bikini can wait til next year. You know right before the Armageddon.
Loving my life right now.
Next, having a baby in your 30's kicks so much ass! I had Bugs when I was 25 and newly married and poor and forced to work full time. This time I feel so much more calm and prepared. All of my friends have babies now too so it is a way more relatable experience. With Bugs, I would talk about his stuff and my friends were like "oh yeah that's super cute and all... Gotta go now. Hot date/party/hang out at the bar/Vegas/club." Now I call my friends and we talk about boobs/poop/sleeping/nipple cream. It's fantastic.
And even though I'm excited to get back in shape, fitting into a bikini this summer is not even on my list of priorities. I plan on breast feeding for a year and making sure I'm eating healthy and providing for my son is number one. The bikini can wait til next year. You know right before the Armageddon.
Loving my life right now.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Thank God I'm Crazy
Last Tuesday when we were about to released from the hospital, they checked Logan's bilirubin level, and it was a 12, which was considered "intermediate risk." I had no idea what that meant exactly but the doctor made it sound like it was no big deal, and told me to follow up with my regular pediatrician the next day.
Well the next day I was pretty much asleep all day in between him suckling my ginormous boobs and didn't call the doctor until about 1:30. They were on their lunch break so I left a message for the nurse letting her know his level and to let me know if I needed to follow up and when I should make his first appointment.
The nurse called me back at about 4 and our conversation went something like this:
Nurse: "So what was Logan's bili level today?"
Me: "I don't know, I didn't have him tested today."
Nurse: "The hospital pediatrician didn't have you come back today for a repeat test?"
Me: "No. Should she have?"
Nurse: "Did they send you home with any lights to put him under?"
Me (panic ensuing): "No. Should they have?"
Nurse: "You need to get him over to the hospital lab immediately for another test. He was at an intermediate risk yesterday and standard protocol is to have the test repeated 24 hours later."
Ok, so then I start asking Dr. Google about bilirubin levels as we're headed to the hospital. (Big mistake.) Problems are present if your baby isn't peeing or pooping a certain amount a day. So I think back and realize that he's only had 1 pee and 1 poo in the last 24 hours, which is not normal. We got him to the hospital and had his blood drawn and then headed back home.
We walked in the door and the on call doctor at my pediatrician's office called and this conversation went a little like this:
Dr.: "Logan's bili level is at 18, which is dangerously high. I need you to get him back to the hospital right away. He's going to need to spend the night in the hospital."
Me: Instant sobbing and freaking out and gathering of necessities.
Dr.: "I'm going to call the hospital and let them know you are on your way. Skip admissions and go straight to the children's unit. They will be expecting you and are going to get Logan under the lights right away."
Me: More sobbing and incoherent questions.
We took him to the hospital immediately and they got him under the lights right away. Then they hooked him to a bunch of monitors and got Hubs and me set up to spend the night in his room with him. I was able to nurse him still, but had to keep him on this light pad while I was holding him. It was at these times that I noticed he wasn't really waking up. He'd wake up to eat but not really wake up, just open his mouth and start sucking.
At about 3 in the morning (of course I didn't sleep) he had a huge messy diaper and from there, things seemed to get better. They rechecked his bili levels at 6 am and again at 11 am and they had gone down quite a bit. Later, the hospital pediatrician told me that at about a level 25, babies can get brain damage from high levels of bilirubin.
I'm so glad I called.
Well the next day I was pretty much asleep all day in between him suckling my ginormous boobs and didn't call the doctor until about 1:30. They were on their lunch break so I left a message for the nurse letting her know his level and to let me know if I needed to follow up and when I should make his first appointment.
The nurse called me back at about 4 and our conversation went something like this:
Nurse: "So what was Logan's bili level today?"
Me: "I don't know, I didn't have him tested today."
Nurse: "The hospital pediatrician didn't have you come back today for a repeat test?"
Me: "No. Should she have?"
Nurse: "Did they send you home with any lights to put him under?"
Me (panic ensuing): "No. Should they have?"
Nurse: "You need to get him over to the hospital lab immediately for another test. He was at an intermediate risk yesterday and standard protocol is to have the test repeated 24 hours later."
Ok, so then I start asking Dr. Google about bilirubin levels as we're headed to the hospital. (Big mistake.) Problems are present if your baby isn't peeing or pooping a certain amount a day. So I think back and realize that he's only had 1 pee and 1 poo in the last 24 hours, which is not normal. We got him to the hospital and had his blood drawn and then headed back home.
We walked in the door and the on call doctor at my pediatrician's office called and this conversation went a little like this:
Dr.: "Logan's bili level is at 18, which is dangerously high. I need you to get him back to the hospital right away. He's going to need to spend the night in the hospital."
Me: Instant sobbing and freaking out and gathering of necessities.
Dr.: "I'm going to call the hospital and let them know you are on your way. Skip admissions and go straight to the children's unit. They will be expecting you and are going to get Logan under the lights right away."
Me: More sobbing and incoherent questions.
We took him to the hospital immediately and they got him under the lights right away. Then they hooked him to a bunch of monitors and got Hubs and me set up to spend the night in his room with him. I was able to nurse him still, but had to keep him on this light pad while I was holding him. It was at these times that I noticed he wasn't really waking up. He'd wake up to eat but not really wake up, just open his mouth and start sucking.
At about 3 in the morning (of course I didn't sleep) he had a huge messy diaper and from there, things seemed to get better. They rechecked his bili levels at 6 am and again at 11 am and they had gone down quite a bit. Later, the hospital pediatrician told me that at about a level 25, babies can get brain damage from high levels of bilirubin.
I'm so glad I called.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Whew!
I can't believe it's been a week already since I went in to labor. I've been wanting to post more info but haven't even turned my computer ON in the last week, let alone had time to actually write something. So, let me start by saying that Logan is perfect and amazing and such a miracle and blessing. I am desperately in love with him and spend most hours of the day cuddling, nursing, and kissing him.
Last Saturday night, I started having contractions that felt like they might turn in to something. As you may recall, I've had contractions pretty much this whole pregnancy so I wasn't really sure, but I was thinking something was going on. Hubs was supposed to go out of town on Sunday for 3 days and I started having pretty intense anxiety about him leaving. I tried to talk him out of it, but he was still planning on going and just hopping a quick flight back if I ended up going in to labor for real. By about 3 o'clock in the morning, it was painfully clear that he wasn't going anywhere! I couldn't sleep through the contractions anymore and started listening to my hypnobirthing relaxation cd's and breathing through the contractions. At about 6:30, we called my parents to see if they could come over and be with Bugs since he was still sleeping and I felt that we would need to go to the hospital soon. They made it over at about 8 and I continued laboring at home until almost 9, when I felt that we needed to go.
At the hospital, they checked my cervix and I was dilated to 3 cm, which was about 7 cm less than I thought I was. I think the nurse must have been wrong. They wouldn't admit me at a 3, so they told me to walk around for an hour and come back for another check. We decided to go to the cafeteria and have some breakfast. Meanwhile I was having contractions every 3 minutes. Then I started barfing in the cafeteria. I made it to the trash can but it was still ultra embarrassing to be puking in front of all these people trying to eat their hash browns. I bought some mints and we continued to walk around the hospital, stopping every 3 minutes so I could hang off Hubs's neck and breathe through the contractions.
After 45 minutes, I couldn't walk anymore so we headed back. The nurse checked me again and I was at a 4, and then my water broke. So at that point, they really had no choice but to admit me. The nurse we got was amazing and helped me into the tub so I could labor there for awhile. After about another hour, the contractions were so strong that I decided to get an epidural. I really think I could have labored through it, but I was exhausted, and oh yeah, still vomiting, so I decided my experience would be better if I had the meds. I was apparently the only patient having a baby that morning, so the anesthesiologist was in my room in a heartbeat and I was fairly comfortable after that. They checked my cervix again (only 2 hours since the last check) and I was already at a 9! No wonder the contractions were so strong... they were prying my cervix open in a hurry.
And yes, Dr. Awesome was still out of town. We were concerned about another doctor honoring our wish to have Hubs deliver the baby, but fortunately, the on call doctor was AMAZING and let Hubs do everything. He even offered to hold my leg when we were one person short, which I thought was pretty cool.
After only 2 pushes, Logan came in to this world and I was instantly in love and blissful. We were able to have immediate skin to skin contact, which I would recommend to EVERYONE. It was the most amazing thing ever. Everything after that is sort of a blur to me because I was focused only on my sweet baby.
There's more to our week and I will be posting more soon, but for now, please enjoy a picture of the most beautiful baby ever. He was 5 lbs 13 oz and 19 inches long.
Last Saturday night, I started having contractions that felt like they might turn in to something. As you may recall, I've had contractions pretty much this whole pregnancy so I wasn't really sure, but I was thinking something was going on. Hubs was supposed to go out of town on Sunday for 3 days and I started having pretty intense anxiety about him leaving. I tried to talk him out of it, but he was still planning on going and just hopping a quick flight back if I ended up going in to labor for real. By about 3 o'clock in the morning, it was painfully clear that he wasn't going anywhere! I couldn't sleep through the contractions anymore and started listening to my hypnobirthing relaxation cd's and breathing through the contractions. At about 6:30, we called my parents to see if they could come over and be with Bugs since he was still sleeping and I felt that we would need to go to the hospital soon. They made it over at about 8 and I continued laboring at home until almost 9, when I felt that we needed to go.
At the hospital, they checked my cervix and I was dilated to 3 cm, which was about 7 cm less than I thought I was. I think the nurse must have been wrong. They wouldn't admit me at a 3, so they told me to walk around for an hour and come back for another check. We decided to go to the cafeteria and have some breakfast. Meanwhile I was having contractions every 3 minutes. Then I started barfing in the cafeteria. I made it to the trash can but it was still ultra embarrassing to be puking in front of all these people trying to eat their hash browns. I bought some mints and we continued to walk around the hospital, stopping every 3 minutes so I could hang off Hubs's neck and breathe through the contractions.
After 45 minutes, I couldn't walk anymore so we headed back. The nurse checked me again and I was at a 4, and then my water broke. So at that point, they really had no choice but to admit me. The nurse we got was amazing and helped me into the tub so I could labor there for awhile. After about another hour, the contractions were so strong that I decided to get an epidural. I really think I could have labored through it, but I was exhausted, and oh yeah, still vomiting, so I decided my experience would be better if I had the meds. I was apparently the only patient having a baby that morning, so the anesthesiologist was in my room in a heartbeat and I was fairly comfortable after that. They checked my cervix again (only 2 hours since the last check) and I was already at a 9! No wonder the contractions were so strong... they were prying my cervix open in a hurry.
And yes, Dr. Awesome was still out of town. We were concerned about another doctor honoring our wish to have Hubs deliver the baby, but fortunately, the on call doctor was AMAZING and let Hubs do everything. He even offered to hold my leg when we were one person short, which I thought was pretty cool.
After only 2 pushes, Logan came in to this world and I was instantly in love and blissful. We were able to have immediate skin to skin contact, which I would recommend to EVERYONE. It was the most amazing thing ever. Everything after that is sort of a blur to me because I was focused only on my sweet baby.
There's more to our week and I will be posting more soon, but for now, please enjoy a picture of the most beautiful baby ever. He was 5 lbs 13 oz and 19 inches long.
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