I'm CA-RAZY!

I swear in like a week I will start writing more funny, interesting posts that aren't all neurotic and pregnancy related, but for now, I am deeply engrossed in crazy lady land and can't seem to dig myself out.

I started spotting last night.  I mean, it wasn't even close to a murder scene or anything resembling anything close to bad at all.  But it was there.  And it scared me. 

Went for another beta and while in the waiting room I skimmed through this book on how to get through infertility with your sanity (AS IF!)  Anyway, one of the suggestions in the book was to listen to classical music because of it's calming effects.  It said that if you listen to music with cello in it that you are supposed to feel that in your lower abdomen and that it can bring calm to your body there. 

Remember how I said I'm crazy?  Well I went straight to work and turned on Internet radio to classical music with cello in it.  I gotta say I didn't feel it in my lady parts or anything but it was quite relaxing.

And on to the good news  The beta was over 14,000.  I didn't get the whole number because I started crying. 

Ultrasound on Monday.

How IF Has Turned Me Into a Crazy Lady

I've only checked the TP for spotting a half dozen times so far.  Ok, a half dozen times a day.  But I pee like 18 times a day, so my ratio is pretty good.  By the way, the peeing frequency is NOT pregnancy related.  I always have to pee that much.  It's borderline ridiculous.
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I went ahead and took a leap and signed up for the weekly pregnancy emails.  The one I got today says "Your Pregnancy: 5 Weeks."  When I first saw it, I got a little thrill, like oh yeah!  I'm actually pregnant.  Then realized that I haven't made it to the Week 6 email for 7 years.  Come on Week 6 email!

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My neuroses are kicking in full swing.  My acupuncturist thinks I'm crazy and gives me these not-so-subtle talks about how I need to relax and stop calling the doctor.  Your pulse feels just great!  Ok well I'm not well versed in how my pulse predicts whether my life is going to turn out the way I want it to, but I'm trying to take her word for it.

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2nd beta was Saturday and was 2,350.  Sooooo more than double, which is good. 

Your Boobs What?

Today I shimmied around like a show girl trying to decide if my boobs felt sore or not. Hubs asked me if I thought I could swing a tassel in a circle. I don't think he realized what I was doing, he was just thrilled that I was shaking my money makers in front of him (side note - my boobs have never made me any money. Just wanted to be clear about that.)

Wouldn't it be great to not know exactly what day in your cycle you are? I am keenly aware of how many DPO's I am every day. Each day I am checking for any symptoms (real or imaginary.) So far I have none, but that is beside the point. My actual real point is that I have been trying really, really hard not to think about it every day. I'm getting better at it too. I only thought about it 8 or 9 dozen times today. :)