The One Where I Talk About Cleaning Toilets

My Internet decided to quit working. It's super annoying and they can't come to look at it until tomorrow. So today I downloaded the blogger app on my phone and am testing it out. I knew you couldn't possibly go one more day without a post from me so I blindly accepted the terms and conditions and gave the blogger app permission to anal rape me and take pictures of it to share. I hope you appreciate my sacrifice.

Having said that, I have a post all prepared (in my brain) to discuss my counselor's recommendations but my thumbs can't possibly type that much so just wanted to let some of you who asked for that to know it's coming. Oh yeah it is!

I have been working on my goal not to be a crazy bitch and it seems to be going well. I found cleaning schedules on a couple different websites and combined them to make my own. The biggest most awesomest thing I have discovered is to clean my bathrooms every day. Now I know how that sounds (crazy bitch like) but it is NOT!! I bought some Clorox wipes and after I do my business, I just take one and spend about 1 minute wiping down the toilet and countertops. Like literally 1 minute. My bathroom is always clean and since I have 3 bathrooms, I only spend 3 minutes a day cleaning them, which is totally doable in my world. (Also I have to pee constantly so going in 3 different bathrooms works out too.) You see, messes on the toilet and countertop set me off. (I mean honestly, just wipe it up boys!) so wiping down every day = happiness. Oh my god do I need a life.

So, yeah, um I'm obviously boring and I think this blogger app has mind controlled me into writing about cleaning toilets today. So I'm going to sign off now and hope for something more exciting to write about tomorrow.

**This is the Blogger app. We have in no way taken over BU's mind. Any opinions expressed here are solely hers. Especially the part where she doesn't think she's crazy. (Or a bitch.)**

Anal, as in, I am Anal

Besides my insane anxiety and borderline OCD, I'm a pretty laid back chick.  I know that seems opposite or something, but it's fucking not.  I am chill.  Most things roll off my back pretty easily (unless there are dishes in the sink) and it takes awhile for me to actually get worked up.  I can't even really remember the last time I got crazy pissed off.  Except at my husband, but that doesn't actually count.  But as laid back as I am, some of the weirdest shit annoys me.  Like, is it really your pleasure Chick-Fil-A guy to hand me my fucking chicken nuggets and waffle fries.  (Excuse me while I drool for a moment.)  If you haven't been to Chick-Fil-A, then I will fill you in.  Whenever you say thank you, they are required to say, "My pleasure."  (Also, their chicken nuggets are the SHIT.  So f-ing good.)  For some reason I find "my pleasure" so over the top annoying that I have to use actual restraint and not say thank you.  Yes, I purposely do not say thank you at that restaurant because their answer is "My pleasure."  GAG!!!
Or when people say "it is what it is."  Oh really?  IS IT?  Or literally, when they don't literally mean literally.

(Cartoon from theoatmeal.com)


Anyway, the ironic part about the whole thing is that I also find myself annoying when I get annoyed at these things.  I'm a work in progress.

Speaking of work in progress, guess what I broke out today that I haven't seen in several months?  Tweezers.  Apparently even when you have a baby, you still have to tweeze things in order to be sexy.  Otherwise you get hairy in places where one doesn't want to be hairy.  My hairy parts were all, "Well, hello old friend! Please pluck us so we can seem attractive again!"  I did my best, but it is what it is.  Literally.