Sob Story

Oh my God I am annoying.

I don't think I've stopped crying for 3 days. 

To be fair, my husband has been really pissing me off for the last few days so it's mostly his fault.  But normally I wouldn't get all hysterical about his dickishness.  Now when he's made me mad I can barely yell at him because I'm sobbing too hard.

The other day I got a sandwich to go with avocado on the side and NO RANCH because obviously ranch is super disgusting and why would ANYONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND put ranch on a turkey sandwich?  SICK!  I got back to my office and there was both ranch AND some nasty avocado spread on my sandwich. 

I could have cried.  I really could have.  But my friend was with me and I didn't want her to see how truly crazy I am.

I better get an awesome GD Christmas present.

Sadness

My best friend has another good friend that I see occasionally.  We aren't best buds or anything, but we see each other a few times a year at parties and showers and such.  She and I found out we were pregnant within a couple weeks of each other and her due date is 2 days before mine.

This weekend she went in to pre-term labor and this morning her baby boy was born.  And died. 

I can't stop thinking about her and feeling so helpless and sad for her and her husband.  I know every time she sees me now, it will make her think of her angel and I wish that no woman ever had to live through that pain. 

Uh, I Was Calling About, Um, My Vagina?

My body is weirding me out.  I mean, I have a lot of weirdo stuff happening right now.  I've called my doctor twice in the last 2 days. 

Wednesday night I was having Braxton Hicks contractions.  They told me to call if I ever had more than 4 in an hour.  If I just sat there and did nothing, I didn't have any, but if I stood up, I would instantly have one.  I don't know about you, but I have to stand up to go anywhere or get anything done.  And I definitely have to stand up to walk to the bathroom to pee every 10 minutes.  So I wasn't sure what to do.  So I waited it out and luckily they haven't been as bad since.  Maybe I just overdid it that day?  Who knows.

Now I'm having some other issues that I'm sure you don't care to know about and I don't care to tell.  But I had to call the doctor again and leave a message for the nurse in reference to my vagina.  If you've never left somebody a message about your vagina, you should give it a try.  It's pretty much impossible not to stammer and say uh, um, and clear your throat 5 times. 

Next up, my bowels.  Yeah, my bowels.  Skip this paragraph if you don't want to know.  Pregnancy fucks up your pooping schedule.  I've had a rough go of the poo the last few days and today (at work of course) finally got sweet relief.  I think the whole building might have heard me exclaim "HOORAY FOR POOPING!!!"  I wonder if I could incorporate that into a Christmas song. 

How My Life Continues to Rock

You know what's great? 

My husband, that's what.

I told you before that a few years ago we had some trouble and had a rough time for a bit right?  Well we seem to have worked through most of those issues and picked up a few more along the way.  I'm starting to understand that's just how marriage is.  Maybe when we're like 60 we'll have fought about everything we could possibly fight about and then we'll just be a grumpy old couple that gives their kids money and wears bermuda shorts to Hawaii. 
Sounds kinda great right?

Anyway, I've really noticed lately that my hubs has taken a lot of things to heart that I tell him about myself.  Like for example, when I'm pregnant and sensitive and get jealous of the hot young chicks he works with, he needs to just say some nice things to me to make me feel good and I will get over it.  In the past he would just get pissed off and give me a harsh lecture about how he's never given me any reason to be suspicious.  (I think he doesn't realize that 21 year old Big Boobs McGee possibly doesn't give a shit that he's married and also blatantly flirts with him in front of me.  And get this, on the Christmas card writes "You're the best boss ever!  I love you!")  Insert retching and vomiting and possible fist swinging here.

My point, oh yeah, I was getting to a point.  So I got kinda jealous and silly over some stupid stuff like that.  In my mind I know it's just me being sensitive because I know he wouldn't ever go there, but I still got all puffed up with sad and jealous air.  He sat me down on his lap and just hugged me and told me that he thinks of me as family that never ends, like his parents or his kids.  And then there was a whole speech about how happy he is now and that me, my son, and our unborn baby are his whole world and how he wouldn't do anything to jeopardize it.

Sigh.

He frustrates the hell out of me a lot, but I've got a good one ladies.   

Random Weekend Conversations

1.  When I was a teenager and possibly into my early 20's, I may or may not have indulged in an herbal drug occasionally.  I started dating a guy who used this particular herb 4 or 5 times a day.  He's not exactly the guy I brag about dating, but he was sweet and became my boyfriend for a few months.  One day I decided that we should partake of the herb and have intercourse.  (Don't you love it when people call it intercourse?)  I hadn't really had a lot of intercourse up until this boyfriend, so it was like a new experience to plan it around something as outstanding as drugs. 
After the partaking, I immediately wanted pizza.  I mean, who wouldn't?  So we ordered a pizza and I convinced boyfriend to massage my calves.  I have no idea why.  Then I fell asleep with the pizza on my chest.  He tried to wake me for the intercourse and I slapped his hand away and went back to pizza dreamland.  Oops.

2.  It appears that I base my initial like or dislike of people on whether or not they think I'm funny.  I met a girl awhile ago that laughed at my jokes all night and I immediately wanted to make out with her.  Then another weekend I met a girl who thought everything that came out of my mouth was super UN-funny and I really hated that bitch.  So if you want to be my BFF, you better fucking laugh at my jokes dick.

3.  I am now crying at everything and I leak pee.  Laughing, crying, sneezing or coughing equals peeing in my pantaloons.  Fun.