I'm the Boss

Cute little Oak gave me the power to make a few of my own damn rules by giving me the Overlord Award.  This little gem gives me the task of making up 3 of my very own rules that everyone, including that bitch Mother Nature, has to follow.  This really couldn't have come at a better time because my evil plot to take over the world really works out better if I'm magical and creating all the rules.  So...

Rule #1:  My fridge and pantry will automatically refill themselves when someone eats everything in the damn house.  I will never have to go to the grocery store again.  I believe this shall also apply to toilet paper.  Yes, it is so.  The toilet paper will also refill itself so that I never again have to pick the tiny scraps of paper off the empty roll in order to dry myself off enough to waddle down the hall for a new roll.

Rule #2:  With the snap of my finger, my house and yard will be perfectly clean and manicured, leaving more time for me to have spa days and mimosas.  I'll be one of those ladies that's always in a good mood and looks fabulous and is most likely drunk.  Oh yeah, and meals come along with the snap too.  I can also choose if I want that to happen for anyone else so that everyone will be kissing my ass so that I'll snap their shit clean too. 

Rule #3:  I mean honestly, I should break out some end to world hunger or war or bad dye jobs, but what I'd really want is for everyone to just do what I say.  I mean, is that really too much to ask?  I think I could handle the power.  (Insert evil laugh.)

**ETA: I forgot the most important part!  Assigning this awesome task to 3 friends.  So here you go:

Another Dreamer
Pundelina Kafoops
Meim