This Month's Parenting Fails

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I try to be a good mom, I really do.  I think most of the time I am successful.  My kids are fed and bathed, they wear cute clothes, they learn stuff, they brush their teeth (OK well the kid with teeth does.)  Oh yeah, and I fucking LOVE THEIR GUTS!  But of course every parent fucks up a time or two and I'm here to tell you how I did so several times this month:

- Bugs turned 8 last week.  He wanted to have his birthday party at this place where they have wall to wall trampolines, trampoline dodge ball and jump off trampoline into big foam pits areas.  It sounded awesome and for a small fee, I didn't have to do shit except show up with a cake.  Score!  That is until we got there and there were a half a million teenagers jumping around like they were on crack and didn't give a shit that there were a bunch of little kids there too.  3 kids were injured (pretty badly) and I needed some wine after it was over.  I grossly underestimated the amount and level of possible injuries at this place.  Oh yeah and afterwards I left the ice cream cake out and it melted.

- I couldn't quite get it together for a family photo this year.  Hubs had a crazy schedule with the opening of another restaurant so we just couldn't make it happen.  Therefore, this year's Christmas card is a compilation of a bunch of photos I took all year.  The problem is, the only photos I took this year were with my iPhone.  That's right, new baby and all, I didn't break out my camera once this year.  Needless to say, the Christmas card is fugly.

- L still spits up on a regular basis.  Now that he eats baby food too it's super fun to get sweet potato barf on everything, including my carpet.  You see, he also crawls now, which means he cruises around, spits up, then plays in it.  Recently, if the flavor is right, he has started eating it off the floor.  Yes, he spits up, then lays there and eats it.  I mean, I keep an eye on my kid and all, but it only takes about 2.5 seconds of looking away for this to happen.

So there you go.  If you had any doubt about your skills as a parent, these horrible examples should help you feel better.  Oh and last but not least, I crossed slightly into the child abuse zone when I dressed my baby like this.  (I couldn't help it. It's fucking adorable.)

WTF Mom?  You're getting a lump of coal for this.

Merry Christmas everyone!  I have so much to be thankful for this year!  I wish you all BFP's, EWCM, and plenty of BD'ing.