The last thing you need to read right now is another rant about pregnant people's fucking FB comments.
Well too bad. Deal with it. Dick.
I have, oh, I don't know, about 2 thousand friends on facebook that are pregnant. Ok, ok, I'm exaggerating. But there are alot. Like alot-alot. I'm in an area of the country where women try to poop out as many kids as they can in their lifetime. It's not uncommon for people to have 4, 5, 6 or even more kids in my neck of the woods. So pretty much everyone my age is pregnant. With like their 4th kid.
Luckily my real life friends are too self-centered and alcoholic to be those kind of moms, but my FB friends are NOT. They go to church and watch the news and read Rachael Ray magazines.
But I digress. I just think when the time comes for me to be pregnant, I would never post something like "Yay! Week 18! Grow baby grow!!"
Sorry, I just threw up in my mouth a little.
I might say stuff like "It's about fucking time Universe! WTF mate?"
Or possibly "I'm finally pregnant bitches, bring on the gifts! (and the cake!)"
Maybe I'll just be the TMI girl who says stuff like "Haven't pooped in 5 days. Thanks hormones!"
You want to be my FB friend now don't you?
If I did the FB thing, I absolutely would want to be your friend! That was hilarious!
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way! I actually blocked my SIL because she kept pissing me off.
ReplyDeleteI am totally excited for your status updates now. Guess I'll just have to reactivate my account. :)
I'm the FB friend who posts passive-aggressive shit on those posts... like the friend who complained about every. little. goddamn. thing in her pregnancy... she'd whine about constipation- I'd tell her to take metformin so she could shit liquid napalm seventy-million times a day... the friend who started a DAILY countdown until maternity leave in the SECOND TRIMESTER... well, let's just say we aren't friends anymore... :P
ReplyDeleteGross. Do you live in Utah? I'm from Salt Lake and pretty much all my friends from high school have 4 kids now while I have 0. Totally awesome.
ReplyDeleteActually, I totally do! I'd love a nice change from the gag-worthy updates.
ReplyDeleteMy latest kicker? I looked up a friend from junior high. Her very first message to me was how she and her hubby just celebrated their first wedding anniversary and were surprised to learn that they're having a baby!
Gah. Shoot me now. PLEASE.
Hugs,
Jo
This post was perfet timing for me... this morning a friend I haven't seen in ages posts on someone else's page about their second child. I quote: "A boy! Great news! I haven't even met Beatrice yet."
ReplyDeleteSo someone I've never met has had two kids in quick succession. Fine. But why do I have to read about it? Thank goodness for the hide button!