Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Waddling Along

My first son came 2 weeks early.  All during this pregnancy, I have assumed that this son will come early too.  I have even kind of planned on it.  If he's 2 weeks early, my delivery is only a week and a half away. 

Recently, it occurred to me that I have no control over that, and I could possibly go until my due date or even later.  Previous births are not a reliable indicator as far as I have heard.  So that means, it could be as many as 3 and a half weeks away. 

Um.

I don't see how that can be humanly possible.  I can't breathe or sleep or eat or even lie down without wanting to vomit the acid creeping into my esophagus.  And I have started getting stretch marks on my belly.  Stretch marks.  I know that's normal and all but I didn't get ANY the first time and now, at 36 weeks, I already have them.  What is my belly going to look like if this baby stays in there another 4 weeks???

And my ass has cellulite.  Cellulite.  I've never had cellulite before.  I'm lucky, I know.  But now it's there and will it ever go away again? 

Next week, Dr. Awesome is out of town so obviously I can't have my baby while she's not here.  So I'm holding out until 38 weeks and then I'm going to walk like a thousand miles a day and eat hot sauce from packets and bone my husband every day. 

In other news, I have had a lovely little cough that makes me piss myself every time.  It's pretty.  Also, today is an especially springy day and I am loving it, even though it's supposed to snow again tomorrow.  The baby's room is almost complete, I just need a dresser and to find this kid a name so I can buy those cliche letters to hang on his wall.  Bugs starts soccer again this week and we already missed the first practice... I think that might just be how this season goes.

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