I have developed an unnatural love. It is all consuming and disturbing and delicious.
Lemon bars.
OMG, I cannot get enough of them. I used to think lemon flavored foods were for old ladies. So either I wised up, or I am, indeed, an old lady. There are 2 bakeries in my general vicinity that sell delightful buttery beautiful lemon bars and I am not kidding when I tell you that I am eating them 2-3 times a week. This means I actually have to leave my house, go to a bakery and pay a ridonkulous amount of money for a pastry. I love them so much that I am blogging about them.
Next... Bugs went to a birthday party a few weeks ago. It was carnival themed and guess what his party favor was? Go ahead, guess.
A goldfish.
Like a living, breathing, eating and shitting goldfish. In a tiny bowl. I prepared Bugs and told him that it probably would only live a couple of days so he shouldn't be too sad when it died. 3 weeks later, it was still alive in that tiny, nasty bowl. So I bought him a fish tank. A 60 god damn dollar fish tank. And 5 more fish so Goldy wouldn't be lonely. So yeah, they only cost 28 cents at Walmart, but still, come on. Also the birthday party was for not 1, but 2 kids, so I had to buy them both gifts. And a mother fucking fish tank.
This week, all the fish died.
Is it totally terrible that I'm giggling right now? Sorry. Eat another lemon bar and things won't seem so bad :)
ReplyDeleteHopefully this will put him off pets with a short lifespan!
ReplyDeleteMy sister had hamsters when we were little and the funerals were traumatic. When she got older my mum was heard to say, "I can't wait until she moves on to boyfriends - at least I won't have to bury them in the back garden."