I've been trying to think of a way to bring up kindof an embarrassing topic. Thanks to Natalie and her post about her vajayjay, I feel a little more comfortable discussing it.*
Queefs.** Or vag farts.
I remember after Bugs was born that I started having them when I worked out and after sex. I think I must have been an idiot then because I did NOT equate it to the massive stretching of my vagina. I remember always thinking that Hubs and I must have had some crazy sex in crazy positions and I got some air up there. I distinctly remember reading an article in Cosmo that said it could happen because of that.
Then recently, my BFF that has an 18 month old told me that while she was downward dogging in yoga, she totally queefed. Obviously it was humiliating and she was wondering if it had something to do with having a baby because she didn't have much experience with it. Finally, a light bulb turned on and I yelled, "THAT HAPPENED TO ME SO MUCH AFTER BUGS WAS BORN!" Eureka!!
And now since L was born, I have had some experience with it yet again. Unfortunately, one time was in the throes of passion, and nothing makes you feel less sexy than when you're trying to be all hot and your vagina farts. God damn it! I'm taking Natalie's advice and working on the kegals more regularly. I'm going to kegal the shit out of myself.
*The weird part is that I felt more comfortable talking about this than Jesus.
** I don't know if I'm spelling it correctly because I've never tried to write this word. EVER.
Just use vart, its so much easier to spell.
ReplyDeleteThis. Is. Hysterical!
ReplyDeleteJesus is a way more uncomfortable topic, I agree. I don't even want to tell you how many times I have made horrible noises out of both holes during sex. I am surprised I ever get any....oh yeah i know why, they are men. They are just excited to have somewhere to put it. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm dying right now. Seriously, freaking hysterical! I was laughing so hard when I read this my husband desperately wanted in on the action... I decided since we've yet to have our first baby, I maybe shouldn't expose him to the wonders of a post baby vag. just yet.
ReplyDelete