Mean Girls vs. Nice Girls

When I was in the fourth grade, I decided to grow my bangs out. Now this was right during the horrible bang movement of the 80's and way before the growing out your bang revolution of the 90's. I was innovative. Nobody else was growing out their bangs yet. My mom, who was a part of the 60's and 70's hippie hair movement and had some experience in this field, tried to help me accomplish my goal. She bought me some barrettes and showed me how to part my bangs and pull them back while they were growing. I improvised and also sprayed a ton of hairspray on them to keep them from coming out of the barrettes.

One day at school, I was getting on the bus when a 6th grader approached me and demanded to know why in the world I was growing out my bangs. I stuttered a little and managed to get something out about how I didn't like curling and ratting my bangs. She said flatly, "Well, you look dumb without bangs." Stunned, I came back with a defeated answer of "Well, I look worse with them." I wish I could say that this reply was my way of standing up for myself and telling her how freaking awesome my hair looked and that she could suck it, but sadly, I really didn't think I was pretty either way. As if that wasn't bad enough, this horrible 6th grade girl then DEMANDED that I take my hair out of the barrettes so that she could be the judge of which hair style would make me look less repulsive.

I promptly went home and told my mom to cut my bangs. I don't think I told her why. She tried to convince me that once they were grown out that my hair would look really cute but I didn't believe her. A few years later in junior high, all the girls were growing out their bangs. I didn't dare to try again until I was 18 and in college. I believed for all those years that I looked HORRIBLE without bangs.

It's funny how one mean girl can affect you. I have no idea who that 6th grader was and only had a 4 minute conversation with her, yet it left me with a belief for almost a decade - an opinion that wasn't even true!

Although it's unfortunate that it affected me so poorly, I think it also taught me a lesson... words hurt. Something negative you say to a person can really punish them for a long time without you even realizing it. I'm sure that the horrible 6th grader never thought about me again. (I'm also damn sure she grew her bangs out a couple years later.)

My point is that I believe the positive stuff you say to a person can also have a lasting effect. So to my 4th grade self - you look HOT with or without bangs and my god you are pretty! And to all of you... thanks for your support and willingness to share your stories and positive attitudes with me and for continuously (figuratively) telling me how great my hair looks.