Tuesday, October 4, 2011

God Damn You Mr. Sandman

L and I had "the talk."  I was all, "Look dude, mommy is fucking tired.  We can't do this wake up 3 times a night shit and you come to my bed and be all suckle suckle for 5 hours a night."  He was like, "But mom, I love sleeping next to you and when your boobies are right there, why wouldn't I try to nurse all night long?"  And then I said, "Because I am fucking tired and I am not being a very good mom, or person, in general because I am a grouchy beast every day.  So you need to stay in your room and sleep all night."  Then he gave me a wink and said, "We'll see mom, we'll just see."

So now I can't lose.  I will prevail.  I am so serious about this shit that I read a book about it.  So the new and improved sleep program started tonight.  Bedtime routine starts at 8 and he is in bed by 8:30.  Tonight he cried for about 20 minutes.  I went in every 10 and checked on him and told him he was fine.  Falling asleep itself hasn't been the big challenge though, it's the staying asleep in the night.  But the premise is that if he can learn to fall asleep by himself without any vibratey thing-a-ma-jigs or holograms on the wall that when he wakes up in the night he will also fall back to sleep by himself. 

So it's on mother fuckers.  It is so on.  The first night that I get 8 hours of sleep in a row, I will do a cartwheel and post a video of it on here.  (This is a lie.  I am far too old and heavy to do a cartwheel.  I have delicate wrists.)  But perhaps I will celebrate with my own vibratey thing-a-ma-jig.  (Which I will not post a video of because that would be pornography.) 

I feel as though I sometimes cross a little too far over the line.  But that's why you love, er like, er tolerate me right?

6 comments:

  1. You are on a mission! Good luck...

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  2. Love the fact that I am not the only one doing this. Last night Jack decided to go down at 8:30p, woke up to eat at 10pm (usually his bedtime...bad mom) and then slept through until I got up at 5am. But because I am so not used to him sleeping through, I woke up a few times and thought 'OMG he's sleeping!' 'OMG I think he is going to sleep all the way through the night!'....sigh...kind of defeats the purpose.

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  3. Good luck! Your milk must taste better than mine because Maggie will go 12 hours without a taste of the nectar. She does fight going to sleep often though so I'm hoping you'll have great advice for me.

    And yes, that's one of the reasons we love you!

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  4. Don't worry, your not alone. My boy did the same thing around 5, or was it 6, or maybe 7 months. Anyway, he was waking like 3 times or more a night to make sure my nipples would sag just a little lower each day. I was like, hell no. So finally (on a weekend) hubs and I changed the game. Hubs when in his room when he woke and just gave him the paci and left. It was hard, but once he realized he wasn't getting the goods he stopped waking up. Or at least, he stopped crying out if he did wake up. But unfortunatley, around 9 months they go through another separation thing and start waking up again, at least mine did. But that only lasted a week or so.....hang in there!

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  5. I can't wait for the outcome of this one! And I'm pretty sure you got 8 solid hours of mountain sleep coming your way.

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  6. You are fighting the good fight!

    And delicate wrists and lovehandles are no excuse to deprive us of a cartwheel video. Make it happen.

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