Perspective

I haven't really accepted that I am "infertile." I'm not sure I ever will. My body is healthy and normal and so amazing. (As in, it does amazing things, not that it looks all that amazing.) The last year or so I have really worked hard at trying to come to terms with the way my body looks. I am not a small woman. Even if I lost all my body fat, I would probably still not be a size 6. I'm solid, muscular, tall and wide. I am always going to have to buy a size large and wear a size 10. It's just how I am built and although I'd sure love to wear a bikini again, I think I've resigned myself to be ok in tankinis from here on out. It's a work in progress to get into this mindset but I am in my 30's now so I think this new found wisdom is due to my maturity. (ha ha!)

Before becoming mature and infertile, I wasn't aware of the vast network of IF'ers out there. Since starting this blog, I have come in contact with many other women and their writing. I am excited every day to read through their posts and look through their blog lists. I have literally spent hours reading other peoples' works and it has given me so much perspective.

I am humbled. Truly humbled.

There are some ladies out there who have had it so much worse than me. I have cried through posts of people losing full term babies, women who have done dozens of IUI's and IVF's and have still never had a positive pregnancy test. I think it is important for me to remember that yes, some of my problems really, really suck, but...

it. could. be. worse.

And it really could be.